Reframing is a way to look at the same set of facts, but from a different perspective. Here’s a simple example.

• Original thought: I made a mistake and that means I’m a failure.
• Reframe: I made a mistake, but I can learn from it and succeed in the future.

The term reframing is borrowed from the world of art and design. We know a painting can look very different depending upon how it is framed — the size of the frame, the color, the material used (wood, metal, plastic), and the background. Similarly, our personal experiences can be viewed through different frames of reference. We can look at them from a different angle or pull back and see a bigger picture. In other words, we can reframe our outlook.

Reframing our own experiences and those of others requires an intellectual skill, i.e., the ability to mentally shift perspectives, to see something from more than a single viewpoint.

Reframing ranks high as one of the most powerful counseling skills. As counselors, we can give our clients an opportunity to view themselves, their lives, and the world around them from perspectives they may not have considered. In particular, we want to help them feel they have (or at least can see) a pathway toward increased control and mastery of their own lives.

When reframing, we listen carefully to our clients’ stories but don’t feel constrained by their initial viewpoint. We actively think about how the story can be understood in a more sympathetic and empowering way, without disregarding any information that was presented.

Helpful questions we might ask ourselves include:

• Can this be explained in other ways?
• What is a different way to look at this?
• What are other perspectives?
• What information is being ignored?
• What information is being missed?

Reframing aligns with The Seven Challenges approach because we put special emphasis on destigmatizing personal distress. We help clients understand their unhappiness and problematic situations in the context of life experiences without negative labels, without excessive self-blame, and without anything that would promote shame. Our goal is to help them recognize their potential to change and all the opportunities available to them as they gain increasing mastery of their lives.

To illustrate reframing, here are some examples as they apply to alcohol problems, starting with a couple of simple and empowering ones.

Destigmatizing a personal problem:

• Client: I am an alcoholic.
• Reframe: You are a person with many positive qualities who has a serious problem with alcohol.

Interpreting a setback/relapse/mistake with a growth model:

• Client: I said I wouldn’t drink and blew it Saturday night. I got wasted. This proves I’ll never get over this problem. I’m a loser. I’m a drunk.
• Reframe: Setbacks are things that happen when we make big changes. That’s how things go. Maybe you can be a little more forgiving of yourself. Let’s figure out what happened this time and see what you can learn from it.

When we know our client’s history, it usually opens up many opportunities for reframing. In the following example of an individual with an alcohol problem, the counselor knew about the enormous amount of stress in this client’s childhood home. The parents were drug-involved, in desperate financial straits, constantly absorbed in battles with one another, and neglectful (at best) of the children. There was a lot of pain and anger all around and it was a very upsetting environment.

• Client: If I hadn’t started drinking so young, this drinking problem never would have happened. People warned me. I’ve been so foolish. I’m so stupid.
• Reframe: I think that the drinking you did when you were young was actually your attempt to cope with an incredibly difficult situation in your family. I would never call you foolish or stupid. Back then, you didn’t know any other way to cope. Drinking was your survival.

This reframe helps reduce the disabling impact of the client’s excessive self-blame. It opens the door to taking action to confront the alcohol problem without being weighed down by personal shame that could inhibit action.

Similarly, understanding a client’s current life circumstances opens many opportunities for reframing a problem. Consider this dialog taken from a therapy transcript of an individual who had committed to abstinence.

• Client: I was way stressed at work, so Thursday night I went shopping because it always helps me chill. I was calming down when I looked up and there he was — my ex-husband. Not only that, but with a new partner. I never thought about seeing him in some crazy, random way, not in this big city. Well, I headed home and immediately started drinking. It was a bad night.
• Counselor: I’m so sorry you had that bad night. It sounds so upsetting.
• Client: You know, I thought I had imagined and prepared for every possible trigger. It feels hopeless. I committed to at least six months of abstinence, but there I was, bottle in hand. Defeated.
• Counselor: I’m curious — have you been drinking since Thursday?
• Client: No, I stopped right away after that night.
• Counselor: So, Thursday night you felt defeated and maybe now. I can see why. It’s not what you planned. (Note: This is validation.) But if you were truly defeated, wouldn’t you be back to drinking like you were before? You’ve stopped. Right?
• Client: Yes.
• Counselor: Well, I’d say you were set back, but not defeated. (Note: Reframing “defeated.”)
• Client: Yeah, but I thought I had prepared for everything.
• Counselor: You know, you can never anticipate absolutely everything. Anyway, one important part of a relapse prevention plan is figuring out what you can do as the last resort, when all else has failed…what you do and where you turn when it seems that you’re on the verge of lapsing. If you want, you can work on figuring that out in here today. (Note: Reframing “hopeless.”)

Over my many years of counseling practice, I’ve noticed a personal quirk. When I’m trying to reframe a client’s experience, I tend to tip my head to the right side almost as if I’m physically looking for a different viewpoint. I can’t tell you why or how I started this habit, but it feels automatic. Somehow it seems to work for me.

So, if it helps, tilt your head (literally or figuratively) and help your clients reframe their personal experiences in order to view them differently, with more compassion, flexibility, and hope.